As a mum I believe we need other mum's around us that get us. That we connect with on a deeper level, not that we just both have babies.
Over the weekend I felt so blessed to have organised and held space for two other mama's to come together and chat over morning tea at a fancy 5 star hotel in Melbourne.
We drank a glass of champagne and mentioned how we felt guilty about having a glass of bubbles (mama guilt, and this was the main topic of conversation. Funny that!).
We ate yummy sandwiches, scones with jam & cream and petits fours. Waiters topped up our water glasses constantly and asking us what type of tea we would like to drink.
We were dressed up and felt like women, not just mum with dribble on our t-shirts and food in our hair. It was so refreshing.
We also connected as three mum's who could openly chat about what we struggle with, what we love and how we are going as mum's.
Some of the big take away's that we all could agree on were:
+ It is normal to feel guilty about big things and little things - like having a glass of champagne.
+ Your typical council organised mother's group isn't for everyone.
+ Having other mum's around you that get you is super important!
+ The hard times of breastfeeding - it doesn't come natural to every one and it isn't easy.
+ Birth stories are all completely different - we have our own experiences so don't compare yours to someone else's.
+ Cutting your babies finger nails with baby nail clippers is super stressful; cutting your bubba's finger accidentally and making it bleed is common and doesn't mean you are a bad mum.
+ Hearing every now and again that we are doing a good job is helpful instead of unwanted advice that makes us feel worse about ourselves.
+ We all yearn for time to ourselves and know deep down that we need it but it is taking that first step to actually do it and not feel bad. You don't want to be that scary angry mum now do you?
+ Going out for something special like morning tea at a 5 star restaurant, is so lovely. Treat yourself often!
+ Husbands seem to do similar things when it comes to their time with baby.
+ It is okay to put yourself first because you will be a better mum for it. Children are so sensitive and in tune so they can easily pick up on the vibe you are giving off. Scary angry mum? I don't think so.
I had such a lovely time swapping stories and listening to what other mama's go through, think and feel. It was so refreshing and we all left feeling inspired and supported which is exactly what I had envisioned for this event. We knew that we would have a bounce in our step for the rest of the day, and I know I did.
Just because we are mum's doesn't mean we don't have needs. We do and we need to listen to them.
Being selfish is not allowing yourself that time for you and ending up being that scary angry mum that none of us want to be.
How can you incorporate some space for you each week? Let me know in the comments below. Let's make a promise to look after ourselves so we can be the best mum's we can be!
Here is my self-love menu for you to download and fill out to get you started. Stick it up somewhere visible that you can refer to when you have some space in your day. Bathroom, fridge, bedroom wall, office, lounge room...wherever is good for you.
Head on over to Instagram or Facebook and share your self-love menu with me. I would love to see it and where you have put it. Tag me @be_your_radiant_self (Instagram) or beyourradiantself (Facebook).
Be happy & healthy,