Relationships are so beautiful...you have a deep connection to another person, so much so you may want to spend the rest of your life with that person.
I have had a couple of long term relationships before I met my now hubby. Each one I thought was forever, that was until I met my husband almost 7 years ago. There was something different about him. I got all giddy and my heart skipped a beat...things that never happened before with other boys that I met.
I knew straight away that this man was the one for me, forever. And I still feel this way. As corny and clique as it sounds, I love him more and more every anniversary. Honest.
When I fell pregnant and then had our daughter, something changed within me, in the sense of the way I viewed my body. I felt different about myself which made me pull back a little bit from him.
I was and still am breastfeeding, and I felt as though my boobs were my daughters (I am working through this perception now which is so good).
I gave birth naturally and tore, so I felt disconnected from my yoni. Was I ever going to be or feel the same about my body again? I sure hoped so!
If you are feeling this way, I want to share with you some of my tips to get that spark back into your relationship that I have tried and am still working on.
This is super important and is why I have put it first. I kept my feelings to myself for a while but I realised that my husband can't read my mind. I didn't want him to think that something was wrong with him. So we had a good chat and I opened up and told him everything I was feeling. This enabled us to speak about it on multiple occasions whenever those feelings surfaced again.
+ Put in the effort to connect back to yourself!
I spoke about this in a previous blog post which you can read here. Take the time and effort to build that connection again so you feel comfortable in your own skin.
Give yourself a massage when you are putting on your moisturiser and be present in that moment, how does it feel?
Stand naked in front of the mirror and don't criticise. Embrace your body right now, in that moment. Yes you may want to change this or firm up that, but be thankful to your beautiful amazing body for carrying and creating another human.
"I truly love and accept myself just the way I am"
Nourish your body with beautiful healthy food and organic where possible. Treat yourself every now and then, but choose to nourish yourself every single day. Because when we eat well we feel energised and so much better about ourselves.
+ Date nights!
Yeah baby, every single month! Book and schedule your date nights in and do them. Spend time just the two of you without any children and even make a promise not to speak about the kids during your time together.
Really connect as two adults who love each other. And most importantly, have fun and laugh lots. If sex follows, even better!
+ Put your phones away!
Technology is great but it has taken away the need to communicate with other people. I have had many clients tell me that they want to change the way they spend time with their partner. They seem to be in a rut with sitting on the couch and scrolling on the phone. No talking happens or if it does the other person is only half listening...sound familiar?
Make a rule that there is no phones after 8pm, or you take an hour or two each night with no phones allowed.
It will make you talk to each other. Ask how his day has been, or what he is up to at work this week. Show interest and let communication start to flow again. Really listen to each other and be present.
+ Get romantic!
Spend some time doing nice things to surprise your partner. It can be big or small, in the bedroom or out of the bedroom. Just make an effort!
Set up an at home cinema with all the trimmings; popcorn, ice cream, blankets, pillows and candles.
Buy some new lingerie and decorate your bedroom with candles, flowers and treat him to a massage.
Prepare a candlelit dinner for two. Even if you don't have time to cook, order in some Thai takeaway and enjoy each others company without the distraction of TV and phones.
Being romantic doesn't need to cost the Earth, get creative and surprise him every now and then. He will love it!
Bringing that spark back into your relationship doesn't need to be difficult, but like anything it takes some effort on both parts to make it work. Relationships need nurturing and caring, so give it TLC and watch your connection begin to flourish again.
Do you have any other suggestions to get that spark back into your relationship? I would love to hear what it is. Or try one or two of these tips out and let me know how it makes a difference in your relationship. Let me know in the comments below...
Be happy & healthy,