The fear of saying 'no' - for life & business...

You know that feeling when someone invites you somewhere or an opportunity arises and fear starts to build in the pit of your stomach? Your mind starts to race with instant reasons why or why not? 


Yep me too! 


Actually, last week to be exact. 


"I had an epiphany moment. A light bulb went off in my mind. And this all happened after the decision was made. 


Let me start at the beginning...I was offered a pretty good opportunity last week. I was invited to one of favourite bloggers homes for afternoon tea, a chat and then recording a testimonial for her. I was thrilled when the email came through. But the thing was, she lives in Sydney and I needed to go the following Saturday. 

I was sitting on this for days. Should I go? Yes I'll go. No I won't go. I can't afford the airfare. I could spend the morning in Bondi going to all the cool cafes and eateries. But you will be alone, flying while pregnant. And so my ego went on and on. 

So exhausting just reading that back.

I sat in front of my computer for goodness knows how long looking at flights for all the different carriers but never finding a fare that I was happy with. Something deep within me was holding me back. When I want something I usually go for it and deal with the consequences, if any, later. 


I felt if I didn't go, I would be missing out on something. I was invited so the universe obviously wants me to go. I was spending all this time trying to talk myself into buying the plane ticket. But I couldn't. 


I spoke with my hubby about it and he asked me what will you get out of going? Will it benefit Radiant at all or is it a personal experience? It got me thinking...he was right what was I going to get out of it besides having afternoon tea with this wellness blogger? Was it worth spending the money, when to be honest I didn't really have it spare. 


The morning I had to decide and RSVP, I asked my guides what I should do. Help me! Give me the answer! I pulled an angel card and it was 'side with caution'. So I did. I wrote back and declined the opportunity. I felt instant relief which I didn't expect. My shoulders relaxed and my mind cleared. In that instant I knew I had done the right thing. 


The universe wasn't trying to send me off to Sydney for the day. The universe was giving me a lesson. FOMO (fear of missing out) took control of me and made me into a crazy confused woman for a couple of days who stopped listening to her intuition.  


Not long after I had declined the offer, it hit me. The lesson popped into my head like it was spoken to me. "You were scared to say no, not scared to say yes". Wow! And it was so true when that came to me. 


All along I was thinking I was worried about missing out on something when really it was from the complete opposite perspective, I was scared to say no! 


This lesson has been huge for me. Over the last few months I say no a lot more if I truly don't want to do something. And that doesn't come from a place of fear because I am too shy or don't know any one. This is a no to a night out or a party. This is when I really truly need a night at home to relax and unwind. 


Saying no or even yes out of fear is a big deal. It feels scary. Your stomach ties into knots. Your mind races. But deep down you know what the right answer is. 


Always turn inwards for the true answer. It never steers you in the wrong direction. 


:: When have you been afraid to say no? Did you overcome it? What lesson did you learn? Let me know in the comments below x




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Be happy & healthy,