Now I don't want to carry on and whinge to you because who wants to read that, but if you have been following me and my work for a while now, you will know I am all about honesty and real life.
Yes I will share all the fun times and rainbows and unicorns, but I will also share the hard times and the struggles.
If you follow me on Instagram (if you don't I hang out a lot here so come join me), you will have seen the pattern for me this month has been STRUGGLE. Not only in motherhood, but I feel like in life as well.
You know those times where we just seem to think we suck at motherhood? Can you relate? We aren't on form and we feel like we are being a bad mum.
That has been happening to me the past 3 weeks.
We have had a lot of sickness in our household during this time which I am going to blame as the cause of these feelings for me.
If I haven't been sick, then Ava has been sick. We have had crap nights sleep consistently (except for last night, YAY!) and the combination of sickness and exhaustion is deadly when it comes to our confidence in mothering.
For me during this time it has made being a mum really tough. Because I haven't been well I haven't been able to show up 100% for Ava. I want to sleep and stay in bed, to recover and get well. But that is so tough when you have a 2 year old running around or on the other hand being sick too.
My ego has been turned up on full blast, telling me I suck as a mother. And not to mention the feeling sorry for myself with not getting enough sleep. Geez!!
The cycle of these thoughts have been wearing me down. So after a full nights sleep last night and 2 hours to myself this morning, I am feeling like a new woman.
I decided last night to let go of the past 3 weeks. Of the sickness and sleepless nights. To release them and be open to better things. To not try and catch up on sleep (it is impossible) and to stop wallowing in the sickness. Stop being a victim and move on.
It is important to feel our feels, but when we are wallowing in them and not letting them go, we may as well be on a mouse wheel. Round and round we go.
If you are struggling with what life and motherhood are throwing at you, I ask you to feel your feels. Once you have done that, allow yourself to release them and not get stuck in them. Believe me, 3 weeks of feeling like I suck isn't nice.
You are doing the best you can in every moment. You are enough.
Self-care is paramount during these times of struggle or overwhelm.
I have been upping my self-care the past couple of days and that has supported me in getting through and past this time.
A hot bath with music and candles, afternoon naps when Ava is sleeping, watching Netflix (OMG you have to watch Designated Survivor) with a cup of tea, meditating in the fresh air and sunshine, sleeping in (until Ava wakes up), going to bed early and talking it through with my husband and friends.
Maybe it goes deeper for you, so a reiki healing may be a great support tool.
Look after yourself, be your own best friend. Nurture yourself and have compassion.
Motherhood is fricken hard, accept that is the case but don't get too caught up in it because it takes its toll.
I would love to hear from you, what are your biggest struggles with motherhood? Let me know in the comments below.
Be happy & healthy,