Do you compare yourself to others? I bet you do and if you say no, I think you may be telling a little bit of a white lie lovely. We all compare ourselves to others no matter who we are or how successful we are.
For me, it happens a lot. I know I do it which is an important first step in stopping myself, so I am working on making sure I do it less and less. They say that if you compare yourself to someone else it is because you have the same abilities or qualities as them, you just don't see it.
I have a lot of blogging and coaching friends and we all stand for similar things and offer similar services. A big lesson I have learnt over the past 12 months is not to see them as my competition but to see them as my friends. To work with them and collaborate. There are enough people in the world for all of us to be coaches. We are different and can provide our clients with different things. Remember this if you tend to get jealous of others in the same industry as you.
"No one else can be you. You are special and that is an amazing thing!
Being a business owner, I can be a little impatient, I want things to happen now and I know that isn't how it works. I question why my business isn't as big as so and so's business or what am I doing wrong to not be getting heaps more coaching clients. Why aren't people visiting my website and choosing me as their coach?! And many other things my mean girl puts into my head.
I doubt myself all the time and that is the biggest thing that holds me back...my own self-belief.
I have and continue to help many women all over the world, and that is what I need to focus on and remember. Just because I don't hear from every single woman I inspire or help, doesn't mean I am talking to no one. And just because I don't have a massive waiting list of clients, doesn't mean I'm not awesome at my job.
I need to remember that I am working for myself full time...that has been my dream and it can only grow from here. A lot of people don't have that privileged of working for themselves full time, so I need to show even more gratitude for that.
Other bloggers email me to ask if I will do an interview for their blog or write a guest post for them. That is wonderful! These are the things I need to focus on. We are changing the world one small step at a time.
We are so quick to focus on what is not happening for us professionally instead of focusing on the things that are happening for us. For me, I have had such great opportunities writing for national magazines and newspapers, working with clients from Australia and the USA (who would have thought I would be reaching people on the other side of the world) and meeting and networking with other business women who inspire me every single day.
That is what we need to focus on!
Who cares how many followers we have on Instagram and Facebook. What matters is if you are engaging with those that do follow you. Are you providing them with beautiful inspiring content? Bring it all back to your readers and followers. I can guarantee that even if they don't reach out and tell you how much they appreciate what you are doing, they do. Every now and then I will receive an email or Facebook message from a reader who tells me how much I have helped them, and that is what makes me continue when my own ego starts to make me doubt my own abilities.
What I would love for you to do if comparison-itis is getting the better of you is to answer these questions and do these tasks...
+ What are all the great things that you have done or are doing?
+ What are your best qualities? Maybe even email some friends and readers and ask them to tell you what they think they are. Scary but very informative - work to your strengths!
+ What do you bring to your business that others can't? What sets you apart.
+ Do a mind dump of all the great ideas you have going on in your brain no matter how silly you think they are (grab some coloured pens & paper and get colourful).
+ Write down some positive affirmations for you to read when comparison-itis creeps in. Pop these where you can see them - on your desk, phone, computer desktop etc.
What do you struggle with the most in your business? What is the biggest comparison you tend to make? Please share with me in the comments below. We are all human and these thoughts and feelings aren't silly, they are part of growing and working towards the business you so desire.
Be happy & healthy,
29/4/2015 04:26:22 am
Great tips here, Kylie! I think social media and the Internet (as much as I love them) can be huge compasionitis triggers. Your questions are so helpful!
29/4/2015 05:44:45 am
Thank you so much Katherine!!! :) I completely agree, social media is so bad for comparisonitis, that is where most of mine comes from. I'm glad you found my questions to be helpful. xx
29/4/2015 06:02:53 am
Kylie I honestly just felt like you published a post straight from the swirling thoughts I am currently having! Everything takes time and once I have decided something I am off and running but unfortunately growing a business doesn't quite work in the same way. We will just have to embrace being patient and vulnerable and remember we all feel exactly the same! ps I plan on doing an interview series on my blog and you are on my wish list!
29/4/2015 06:24:13 am
Awww don't you love when that happens...something pops up that you just have to see at that moment! Everything does take time especially in business. I am like you, if I have a great idea I run with it and then sit back afterwards wondering why no one else has jumped onto it quickly. Patience is the way to go when it comes to business! Everything will happen in perfect timing and when it is meant to occur.xx
8/5/2015 11:56:32 pm
Thank you so much Kylie. I'll be in touch when I have it all worked out x
4/5/2015 05:40:07 am
I am so glad this blog post came at the right time for your Shereen!! Definitely write down some notes to get you back into a good frame of mind about you and your business. You are capable of anything and everything lovely!! Let me know how you go xx
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