I have just started reading a book called The Conscious Parent by Dr Shefali Tsabary which has been sitting on my shelf for a few months now.
I tend to buy books and then read them when I feel called too, and this is one of those books. I am reading it at the perfect time for me as my baby transitions into a toddler.
I had only read four pages and this book made me excited and got me thinking, I felt I had to do a blog post about it because as parents, this is so important to hear.
We all know being a parent is a huge responsibility, but we actually have the power to either nurture our children into who they want to be as adults or, to put it bluntly, screw them up.
Bloody hell!! That is massive. Have you really thought about it that deeply?
When I was pregnant with my daughter I must have read or heard somewhere to remember that babies are their own little soul and spirit, they have feelings just as we do as adults. So when she entered earth side I made sure I nurtured this. Whenever she cries I have never tried to 'sush' her or tell her to stop crying because she is usually crying for a reason. Something is happening in her little brain that is making her feel a certain way that makes her uncomfortable and feel the need to cry.
Yes it may only be that she has a dirty nappy, is hungry or tired, but when that is all you know in your short little life, that can be so upsetting.
Babies even have days where they are grumpy and just aren't feeling it, just like us.
If someone tried to sush me and tell me to stop crying when I'm having a crappy day, I would get pretty pissed off. Letting out our emotions in a healthy way, like crying, is so powerful and brings relief. No one should be suppressing their emotions. Even babies and children.
Another example of allowing children to be themselves, is a client of mine had a 5 year old daughter at the time and she loved to pick out her clothes and dress herself. No judgement attached from her mum. Yes her daughter may have clashed colours and patterns or even wore gum boots with a dress, but who cares! She was expressing herself.
Children don't have the thoughts we do. Society hasn't had a chance to get inside their little brains and tell them they aren't good enough, they shouldn't dress that way or that they must do this. They are just being themselves. Which I think is so beautiful.
Babies are born into the world with their own soul and mission for this life. So when we start to dump our crap on to them, this slowly dims their light and their soul purpose. We are literally damaging our children's spirit.
If you wanted to be a dancer or a netball player but never had the chance too, maybe think twice before making your child take lessons or taking a class. Yes you can expose them to those things, but if they don't want to do it, then don't force them. Maybe they want to learn a musical instrument or take an art class, nurture that and allow them to take a lead in what they are interested in.
So next time you try to tell your child to do this or that, how about stopping yourself and allowing them space to explore and figure things out for themselves. Let them get dirty, try things, fall over, laugh, play, dream and image.
Nurture their spirits instead of dominating it and thinking you know best, because I'm sorry to say, when it comes to their life purpose, you don't have the faintest idea on what that is.
Show them love, support and be on the side lines being their biggest cheerleader.
Don't dim their light. Let them shine as bright as they can.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Is conscious parenting something you do already? Or is the concept something you have never thought of before? Let me know in the comments below.
If you love this concept, check out Oprah's interview on Supersoul Sunday with Dr Shefali Tsabary which you can watch here. So good!
Be happy & healthy,
16/8/2016 05:50:01 pm
Love this. I completely agree with everything you mention. I suppose I have always patented this way. My girls are 6 and 4 and I have always let them wear whar they want, tried to find out what is bothering them and letting them just go through the emotions of feelung sad or grumpy without telling them to simply stop crying. We even let them sleep in our bed because they feel more content and sleep way better (although it is very squashy now and we may need to come up with another strategy).
17/8/2016 08:57:17 am
I'm so glad you enjoyed this post Victoria! That is amazing you have always been conscious with your parenting, so good!xx
Beautiful! I read this book last year and have re-read little snippets here and there. Shefali is mind-blowing. It can be so hard to remind yourself that your little one is a 'soul with their own throbbing signature'. I have such respect for the fact that she also shares the less the glamorous parts of her own parenting. A grounded, gentle and generous guide.x
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